Riding the Subway

When I lived in NYC, I started suddenly seeing Tumblrs about people (mostly men) taking up too much space on the subway. Here’s one as an example.

Many of these cases show trains with plenty of space. While it’s still an expression of privilege, it has fewer practical implications if there are plenty of open seats on the train.

Unfortunately, in Boston, I frequently see this when the train is packed (even with people still waiting on the platform). In those cases an empty seat is one less person who gets on the train. Or it’s one more person crammed into the packed standing area, when there’s a seat available. For some reason, people here are too polite to sit down and force the person to make room. I assume some of the men taking up too much space don’t realize they are doing so.

I often see women look at the seat, evaluate if they think the man will move, and then walk and stand at the other side of the car — leaving that one open. Once one person has deemed it “un-sittable” no one else seems to either.

So, I’ve been sitting in all of those seats. Even when I don’t really want to sit. I don’t say anything — I just reclaim the space to make it obvious the train is full. I’ll happily offer the seat to someone elderly or pregnant after I’ve reclaimed it.

Today was one of those days. I was on a crowded train. There was a man taking up about 1.5 seats worth of space. I watched a woman walk up, look like she was going to sit down, and when he didn’t adjust to make space — walk to the back of the car to get another seat.

So I did my usual. I sat down.

The man didn’t move, or make any adjustments to provide me with more space. Instead, he left his elbow on my thigh for the entire ride. The subway is crowded — often your arm will touch another arm, your leg another leg. This wasn’t that. He left his elbow on my thigh.

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything — or figure out what to say — so I just sat there for four more stops until I got to work. This is the first time my strategy has backfired, and I’ve been doing it for about a year. I’m going to keep doing it, but I sure hope that doesn’t happen again.